Thief Hall Journal

Top Tips for the Best Man/Ushers

Being asked to be a best man or usher for your friend or family members wedding can be a huge honour. As a best man or usher, the groom has entrusted you with responsibilities to help them with the planning and run up to their special day. This can be daunting to some people, especially with such a special day for 2 people. Also to make sure the stag party goes well and without any faults before the wedding and to make sure the day runs smoothly for the couple so they don’t need to stress.

1. Moral Support

This is a huge part of the Best Man duties. Giving moral support to your groom in times when he is panicking or stressing about anything to do with the big day. This can include, Choosing the ring, choosing and introducing (if not met) the groomsmen, helping with suits and any part of planning the groom has been given for the big day.

2. Help choose the suits

One of the main duties is suit shopping. The best man needs to help the groom with rounding up all of the groomsmen, ushers and other important male members of the wedding party that need to try on suits for the big day. Helping the groom decided on whether to hire or buy is a big decision to help make. Traditionally the couple pay for the wedding suits, but financial situations are not always the same for each couple getting married.

Plan the Stag Do

This is the Best Man’s time to shine! Planning the Stag Do is a vital part of the best man’s duties. With having to please the Stag, there is also the responsibility of making sure it is not too close to the wedding date. If you do and something happens, the Bride will never forgive you! Make sure you organise the Stag do a good 4-5 weeks before the wedding. Now you can plan the best stag do based on your groom, what he enjoys, where he would like to go and what activities he would want to do. This is personal so make sure you are thinking of the groom and not yourself and what you would prefer to do. Consider all of the people the groom would like to be there with him celebrating and make sure everyone is happy with the plans, or even has some input to make them feel involved. Be wary of price, not everyone’s financial status is the same as yours. Finally, make sure the groomside place is all paid for between the whole stag party.

4. Help set up

As planning is mainly taken care of by the bride, the groomsmen and best man duties are mostly aimed towards the set up of the day (the crafts and DIY). To help anyway when asked. Even if theres not much to do with the finer details, offering to help out moving the heavier stuff or furniture etc is a huge help for the bride, maid of honour and bridesmaids.

5. The day before

The day before the wedding can be busy. There’s stuff to be collected and picked up. Offer to help with this. Picking up the suits, making sure the Groom has been for his haircut, picking up the gift bouquets or presents. The tradition is for the best man to stay with the groom the night before the wedding. Prepare for this, make sure you know where you are staying (or organise where to stay). Make sure you have a good supply of whisky or beer of whatever the grooms drink of choice is. Have a good supply of food, snacks or a meal for yourself the groom and whoever else is staying with him the night before. It’s the little things that count. BUT….. make sure the groom does not drink too much! You do not want to be the person responsible for the groom being hungover on his own wedding day. Lastly, if you remember, go through yours and the grooms speeches one more time just to be safe.

6. On the Day

Get ready with the groom, this starts with making sure you get the groom up with enough time to get ready and some spare time incase anything should come up unexpectedly. Make sure you know where the button holes and and if/when they are arriving. Most importantly, keep the groom calm, some may or may not show it, but a lot of the time they may be nervous or stressed.

Keep the rings safe. This is a big one, these are important so make sure you know where they are at all times running up to the ceremony.

When you get to the ceremony you and the ushers are responsible for greeting guests, making sure they are seated and everyone has an order of service. Detail is key, make sure you know who the bride and groom’s family are and who is sitting in the front rows. Look after the parents and grandparents this will be highly appreciated.

When everyone is seated you need to be up there at the top of the aisle stood by the groom’s side. Make sure you still have the rings for when they are ready for the exchange.

7. Speech

One of the main duties of the best man is to give a speech (traditionally after the meal). You will have already gone over your speech to make sure it is right and you are confident with what you are saying. And also have ran it past at least one person you trust to make sure it is not inappropriate or offensive.

The best mans speech is usually last in the order of speeches, but many people have the order of speeches any way they wish. Nerves are a good thing, it means you care and want to get it right, but make sure you speak clear enough for everyone to hear and understand you (also check if you venue has a microphone, these are very useful), pause after jokes or when its appropriate for an applause. Make sure you say all the thanks you need to, mentioning everyone that needs to be mentioned.

8. Dance with the Maid of Honour

It’s always been a tradition for the best man to dance with the maid of honour after the first dance has taken place and to encourage other guests to join you on the dancefloor. If yourself and/or the MOH would prefer not to go with this tradition, just make sure you are still one of the first on the dancefloor and still encouraging others onto the floor.

9. After the Wedding

After the best day is over, make sure you help with clearing up of the wedding, returning any hired items such as the wedding parties suits and any decorations. If the bride and groom are going on their honeymoon straight after or soon after the wedding, make sure the groom is ready and prepared for this, also if needed keep hold of any items or wedding gifts for them until they return.