Thief Hall Journal

10 Top tips for Maid of Honours and Bridesmaids

Being asked to be a Bridesmaid or part of your friend or family members special day can be a real honour. As a Bridesmaid, the Bride has entrusted you to help her and make sure that the planning of the wedding as well as the day itself is as stress free as possible. This can however be a little daunting, especially to those who have never been a Bridesmaid or planned a wedding before – but this is where we can help! We have put together 10 tips to help you make your Bride’s life easier.

1. Get to know your bride

This may sound strange, particularly if you feel you know your Bride really well. You may be a relative or childhood friend, however you may not actually know them as well as you think. Early on after being asked to be a Bridesmaid, spend time with your Bride and get to know all of their likes and dislikes when it comes to weddings. What have they liked at previous weddings they have been to or what they dislike when it comes to wedding themes, venues, bands, caterers etc. By taking the time to do this it will make life easier for both of you when you are helping your Bride make decisions.

2. Be supportive

The easiest way to make your Bride’s life easier is to be supportive in all of her decisions. Let her know that you’re completely there for her throughout the wedding planning from the very first invitation sent out to choosing her wedding dress right up to the big day. If other relatives or friends are voicing their opinions too much, let her know that hers and her husband to be’s are the most important when it comes to their wedding and to make sure they prioritise their wishes before everyone else’s.

3. Maintain your Bridesmaid duties from start to finish

Make sure you continue your support all the way through the wedding process. As soon as she asks you to be her Bridesmaid, you need to be someone she can rely on – no one wants a flaky Bridesmaid! Turn up to any appointments she’d like you there for and reply to her text messages. Remember that your Bridesmaid duties don’t finish after the Bride and Groom have walked down the aisle, you still need to be on hand throughout the day to make sure the guests are all happy, the guest book is signed, make sure the Bride’s dress is photo perfect and the age old duty of helping take her to the toilet in her wedding dress! You may also be needed after the wedding is over. Helping the Bride and Groom clear up the day after or helping them to send thank you letters could also be a task that the couple would appreciate your help with! Whatever your particular duties are, make sure you are fully reliable every step of the way.

4. Pick her up if she gets stressed

Planning a wedding can be stressful for your Bride, therefore cheering her up when it’s all getting a bit much for her is what she’ll most appreciate. Encourage her to take a break from it all and do something with her that will cheer her up, take her for a meal, for a drink or even just a walk to take her mind of things. This will give her the chance to take a step back and come back to the planning with a clearer head.

5. Look after her parents and the In Laws

Many Brides have a brilliant relationship with their parents and in laws and this will make their lives a lot more peaceful in the run up to the wedding. However, for some Brides, their relatives can create a few issues. To help ease the worries of this, help to prevent any potential disagreements or upset by keeping their family members onside or help them to see it from the Bride and Groom’s side of things.

6. Organise a hen party your Bride will enjoy

The first thing most people think of when it comes to a Bridesmaids duties is organising the Hen Party. This is often a great opportunity to help your Bride celebrate her upcoming wedding and there are a couple of important things to remember when organising the hen party. Firstly, make sure you invite everyone who should be invited without leaving anyone out. It is more likely that the Bride will receive the backlash from this if you leave anyone out even without meaning to. To avoid this check with your Bride who they would like to invite and make sure relatives, colleagues and other friends from other social groups are all invited (as long as the Bride wants them there that is). Secondly, make sure you plan a hen party that your Bride will find enjoyable. If she isn’t someone who would enjoy strippers or perhaps isn’t a big drinker, then try and respect this and even though it might be traditional for this type of hen party, the party must be enjoyable for the Bride. Ask her before hand what she’d like and maybe discuss with some of her other friends as well if you are wanting to surprise her.

7. Be easy going

There may be times when your Bride may ask you to do, wear or say things you’re not entirely happy with. Despite this, try and be as easy going as possible and give your Bride her dream wedding. Even if this may involve you wearing a dress that’s not entirely your style, or perhaps asking you to give a speech when public speaking isn’t really your thing, try and fulfil her wishes. If she asks you to do something, you’re really not happy with then be honest with her and try and avoid any disagreement, perhaps offer an alternative solution or explain why you might not be comfortable with it.

8. Don’t be pushy

While you are there to help your Bride with her choices over the wedding, remember it is her and her husband to be’s special day not yours. Be respectful of her choices and remember to look at it from a bigger perspective. You might not like the particular centrepieces she has ordered however as long as the Bride and Groom are happy that’s all that matters. Try and avoid getting upset or being offended if your Bride doesn’t take your advice in certain areas as well. There will be many occasions where she needs your help and your opinions on a decision, but they might not always fit her vision of her wedding but try not to worry about this.

9. Be Tactful

While you may agree with a lot of the Bride’s decisions and choices over her wedding, there may be occasions when you may disagree. While, as mentioned you shouldn’t turn it into your own wedding, there may be times where your Bride might make a decision which could have some negative consequences for her. Such as the caterer your Bride would like to hire might not cater for her vegetarian work colleague who is attending or maybe the seating plan, she has put together might upset a some of her relatives. Occasionally, the sheer amount of decisions your Bride will have to make could cause her to overlook factors such as these. If situations like these do arise, handle them tactfully so as not to cause upset and perhaps gently suggest an alternative that might make your Brides life easier by keeping all of her guests happy.

10. Be Honest

While being asked to be a Bridesmaid or even the Maid of Honour can be exciting, if you feel that the pressure is getting too stressful, let your Bride know. As your friend or relative she won’t want you to struggle, she will most likely have chosen you because she cares about you and wants you to be part of her special day and will therefore want to know if things are getting on top of you. If your Bride has standards that too high to keep up with, be honest and tell her as hard as it may be. You may be worried about letting her down, but she will more upset if you have too much going on and let something slip that might be important. She will want to enjoy this time with you so make sure you take time to have a break from the planning and maybe enjoy a night off together occasionally. It’s important to make sure that the stress you are taking away from the Bride is not burdening you instead!